Introduction



Kaseh♥ ;i dont smoke/drink/club, thanks for passing by my blog (:

Being in a relationship now is just a temporary thing in life.

"You can forgive someone almost anything but you cannot tolerate everything.
We don't have to tolerate what people do just because we forgive them for doing it.
Forgiving heals us personally. To tolerate everything only hurts us all in the long run."

♡ I don't want to be th first cause there will be second and third, i want to be th only one ♡

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Tomorrow will always be a better day

March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 October 2011

Friday, May 15, 2009 ♥



forever never; its over between us.











this post was supposed to be on 14th may..

i was too much. i hurt you alot today. you waited me for more than three hours at my voideck until i agreed on meeting you. im a bad girl but if only you know how badly hurt i was. and right now, im still hurt. youve been wanting to meet me but ive been saying no. you wanted to meet me yesterday but i wasn't free and i dont want to meet you. but suddenly, i decided to meet you today and you told me that youre not free and i guess, you didnt know that i know th reason why youre not free. i know, youre meeting your besties. so i have nothing more to say and its like so obvious, they're much more important than me. you dontwant to meet me cause youre meeting them. like ive said, i dont care anymore. and today in th morning, you texted me and wanted to meet me. ya, i was shocked cause i thought youre not free today. you told me that your class ended early today (i know that's not th real reason) but th truth was that th outing w your dearest besties was canceled. and im not being unreasonable if i say, you meet me only when youre bored or when you have no where to go. and also, im not being unreasonable if i say, im being used. and ive been sucha fool. ive been hating myself for this and i really hate this feeling. honestly speaking, i was totally irritated by you justnow.

i know, youve been trying to improve our 'exgirlfexboyf relationship' but how? you priotise your besties more. you dont treat me like how youve been treating them. and you say what? you wont leave them cause friends dont leave friends. but do you know that, you left me?! i was your girlf, you should at least treat me good or better. so what if you know them first? im th one who spent more times w you, im th one who have gone through alot of things w you. when i was your girlf, sometimes i dont felt like one. know why? i dont really know much things about you ; you know my passwords but idk yours. idk what block youre staying at. i dont know your house phone number. who am i to you? sometimes, i think youre weird, really weird. do you know how hurt i was to know that i, your girlf, was not allowed to upload our pictures in friendster? okay, i understand why. but its hurts me so much to know that you dont mind your kawan lama tersayang puting up you&her pictures at friendster. and now? facebook.. i see alot of pictures of you and your besties. i dont expect you to put up my photos w you, but who am i to you? i didnt see our photos in your facebook. and now, still wanna say that im not nothing to you? i dont care if any of you readers gonna think that im being so childish but, what if you were me? i have feelings too, you know. and now, you say that you still care about me, you still love me, you keep asking me out, but sadly to say, youve been treating me like im nothing to you. you come and go as you wish. it seems like, you just dont want to let me go and love seeing me in a devastating state.

and when i say about you and your besties, you say about me and my kbs. hey, i dont contact my kbs anymore cause he's att and i dont like contacting w someone else's sweetheart, get me? sorry to say, im not like your besties who contact w people's boyfriend. actually, its not really about contacting you know, its about th 'i miss you, bestie' 'i love you, bestie' 'dearest' and etc. and you! why bother to have girlfriend when you already have ladyfriends that will always be there for you? why you brought me into this hurtful relationship, why hairul why? why bother to have girlfriend when you already stated in your blog that whatever it is, you'l priortise friends more than your girlfriend. why bother to have girlfriend when you know that you can't have girlfriend?! why bother to have girlfriend when your reason of breaking up was because of studies?

you broke up w me because youre afraid that you'l be very busy in year two and wont have much time for me. but do you how hurt i was to see that in just few days after we broke up, i saw your pictures w your besties in your blog. you have th time to meet them. and you were having greatimes w them and me? i was at home, i have no one to go out w, all i did was crying, that's all. and when i talk about this, you'l say that hurting me did hurt you as well. and why th hell you hurt me when you know that you'l get hurt too? youre just being too unreasonable, hairul!

i just dont understand what else do you want from me.

and justnow we met, if you realised, i kept staring at you. i was asking myself, why th hell i decided to go away from your life when actually youre really a good boyfriend/exboyfriend and sucha loving guy. and i must say this, youre good looking. but sadly to say, i dont really go for looks. i admit that youre hot. youre goodlooking. you have th looks that every girls want. but i cant forget how you tried to ignore me, how you defend your besties, how how how youve hurt me! i feel so unappreciated laa please. i just want to stop crying each and every night thinking of you! it hurts alot to pretend being strong when actually not. and when i blamed your besties, what you said to me? 'get a life laa kaseh'. who am i to you? who is kaseh to you? i hate you.

im sorry, i really have to go away from your life. i hope, today is th last day im seeing your face. thanks for everything. i really had a greatime w you justnow despite those sarcastic words and pissed off faces between th both of us. and i know, i hurt you alot today. th last hugs&kisses, i'l cherish.

takecare muhammad hairul izwan, you'l always be remembered. i'l never stop loving you eventho this heart might be taken by someone else in times to come. trust me, i still love you as much as ive loved you from th very start.

th girl that love/has loved you whole-heartedly,
nurkaseh.

to hairul's besties, kawan lama or any of hairul's ladyfriends ; i dont hate any of you. im sorry if im abit harsh on today's post. im just letting out my feelings (: once again, im sorry.

to teera ; happy birthday (: i know hairul wont believe if i say that im sincerely wishing teera a very happy birthday -.- but nevermind, its 4:18am right now, and teera just replied to my text (: and somehow, i feel that im missing her. i miss th times we hugged, camwhored and etc. but yeah, things happened so fast and its all fated to be like this.

and only god knows how much i love muhammad hairul izwan.

may peace be upon you, readers! takecare.