"You can forgive someone almost anything but you cannot tolerate everything. We don't have to tolerate what people do just because we forgive them for doing it. Forgiving heals us personally. To tolerate everything only hurts us all in the long run."
(pictures w dearest friends will be uploaded soon; bella&zai, upload quick! :P nola, take your time, hee hee ^^ )
hi, im confuse, im not sure what am i thinking of right now. wake up, kaseh. wake up. i feel so guilty, i feel so suckish, i feel so wrong, i feel so pentingkan-diri-sendiri, i feel bad, i feel.. too many feelings in me right now.
okay let's talk about my day. well, it was okay, enjoyable i should say and way better than yesterday, like ofcourse(!) -.-
i hate yesterday, and guess what? i ask for a break up. duh, ya'll should already known about this cause everything was mentioned in my previous post, heeeha. but my boyfriend said that its not easy for him to let me go. and his sweetalks all came out (hee hee, sorreh baybeh) after much thinkings, i decided to just continue this relationship and hopefully, this relationship can be improved, may god willing. heeha. let's just forget about th past and tomorrow will always be a better day, yay.
notice th, "my boyfriend said that its not easy for him to let me go"? ah, if only my exboyfiend said that to me last few months ago. stupe froggy. ahaaaa, nah lah. action je. peace baybeh! ^_^V i feel so bad but at th same time, i feel so stupidddddd. dingdong. dadidu. booboo. k, bye. i wanna have to change my blog songs, soon.
tomorrow is dearest farzanah's and haziq's birthday. and today was like a birthday gathering, eh? i think so. heehee. i was supposed to meet them at 3.30pm at tanah merah but i finished dressing up only at 3:28pm, best eh. nyehehh :P reached there around 4, and guess what? i wasn't late, i waited them for ten minutes. so happy, i wasn't late. so happy, im an early bird. hee hee. so yeah, train-ed to cityhall and had lunch at pizzahut. nampak mcmcm orang ini hari, k yay!
after which, walkwalked at marina and coincidently, (coincidence lah sangat -.-) my hottie was also at cityhall. he was w wan, nick, yana &huda. while waiting for my dearest friend, zazaaai.. i met my boyfriend and we talked. yes, talked. really, we talked. he talked about yesterday's story. adui ~ and yay, he agreed to camwhore w me. nizam, i love you for that. yay!
i then trained to bugis and met my friends back, they wanted to shisha. so yeah. but they can't, so sad. th law, th law, th law, so bad eh. and aww, i sawwwww arie, arie, arie, yay! :P
and thanks zara for calling me up and asked if im okay or not, i love you much. and oh, my dearest taggers, im okay :D thanks fr tagging and your care and concern, plus all th advices. love ya'll.
as time passed by, one by one went home. first was farz and mat, then bella and imraan. thus, i was th only girl w six guys. in other words, im like th rose among th thorns. peace! ^_^V sorry friends for not homing w ya'll. and yeah, walked to cityhall w boyfriend and wan. boyfriend purposely asked me to skip two trains and so, i took th third one. cause th second one seemed to have alot of hotties who boarded that train :P :P sadded, th third one got no hotties for me to eyecandy on. hee hee, sorreh. peace baybeh! ^_^V
nadia called and talked about some stuffs. i was like (o.O?!) gituk. hee hee. i dare to swear, im th type who will smile everywhere i go, or to anyone who passed by me or to any strangers (excluded th minahminah cause they look so fierce, please. bukan tak suka atau apa, kaseh takut. dorang muka fierce, hee haa. kaseh kental :P and yes, i dont smile at random guys. takut dorang fikir apa pula kaaan ^_^ and to whom it may concern, why on earth i want to jeling at you? haa haa. firstly, i didnt know it was you until you have walked passed me, then nizam tell me. and i dont think i really looked at you cause if im not wrong, you were like putting your hands on your face. senang kata, tutup setengah muka gitu kan? but i did looked at your friend and i smiled sincerely at her. sadly to say, she didnt reply my smile at all. aiyerr. but th main thing i wanna say now is that i didnt jeling at you, sungguh tk tipu tk bohong tk dusta tk bedek ^_^
im happy and feel so satisfied that i actually blurted out all my feelings to boyfriend. not all, still got alot. just that i forgot to say at that period of time, sucha waste! haa haa haa. anddddddddddd again, i dont flirt eh eh eh. baaah. and talking to my guyfriend(s) is so not flirting, boo. i hope, i wish, i pray that one day i'l change my mind and will start having trust on you. its just so difficult to trust guys. never in my whole life, i have ever trusted any guy who have/had came into my life. tingtingting. and please change, please. or you have changed, eh? dont flirt anymore, never treat this relationship like how you've treated your past relationships; never faithful! boo. and bah, i dont believe w th sentence, 'once a cheater, always a cheater.' dont make me change my mind to believe that sentence is oh-so true, okay love?
i read your blog. no one is perfect, baby. im not perfect, and i do have my flaws too. and my love, let me be th one to love you and your blemishes. i hope, i wish, i pray and i believe, th feeling of (real) love will eventually come one day, one perfect day. perhaps, i was born to say 'i love you' to you? im starting to have th feeling of afraid that i might be losing you in future to come. i pray, that will never happen. but if one day, we were meant to be separated.. you gotta believe that my love for you were for real, never a lie.
its time to let go of what i really have to let go. no point dwelling on it, still. yay! new love, new life.
okay, read back th first paragraph. th feelings came about cause i think, history really is repeating. goshygoshy. firstly.. nizam's ladyfriends/besties.. tell me honestly. am i th reason why ya'll have to stop contacting nizam? am i th reason why ya'll have to stop having late night calls w him? am i th reason why ya'll have to stop getting friendship hugs or maybe er, (friendship kisses) from him? am i th reason why ya'll just have to stay away from him, or have to argue w him, or have to feel th heartpains or whatever bad things it is. kay, i have no idea what am i blabbering about right now. dadidu. tingtingting. dingdong. kay, im feeling so mundane right na na na *sad face* im here just to apologise, ive tried asking him to let me go so he can have th life he used to have. but he refused to do so. baaaaah, this reminds me of my oh-so-very-hurtful past, benci please.
second reason why th feelings all came about was because i think, i ditched many guys. no, didnt. just that, it seemed to be that way. but no, i didnt. *slap myself* my heart is meant for only one, not three, four, five and so on. im sorry and please give me th chance to be faithful. give me th chance to stick to only one. stop making me feel so guilty. and i dont believe in 'i'l wait for you'. stop hoping for me, im bad. find a girl which is way better than me. and to another you, stop saying that i dont understand you. what should i do so that you'l say that i understand you? entertain your loveydovey words? how else can i make you understand that im attached, why can't we be just friends?
to another you, youve been sucha great friend. go and get a girlf, cause youre one sweet guy, th sweetest i guess? (: and we shall just continue being just friends, its better that way. there must be a reasons why some words are meant to be left unspoken. im sorry if i seem as though im playing hide and seek w you. you'l always be my dear friend, eventhough we dont talk that much, but when school reopens, i'l always be there, not sitting far away from you. i hope you get what im tryna say (:
i seee many types of guys in my life. th desperates, th never give up, th sweetalkers, th lovable, th willing to do anything just for love, th irritating, th very borrring, th sincere, th very self-centered; egoistic, th very talk big, th very generous, th very stingy, th very not gentleman, th very gentleman, th step cool, th very macam faham and so forthhhhh. how can i not feel wrong if someone who has waited for you for so long is still waiting for you, before you got attached to your first and still wating even after you have attached to your second. and another one, who never give up, keep texting each and every single day, forcing to talk on th phone, wanna meet up and all. i feeeeeeel th bad-est girl in th whole wide world. i tell you readers something, do you know that i was confronted of playing w guys' heart since primary six? boo, itu zaman ambil psle -.- yes, i was confronted by 3guys, i guess? i feel like laughing right now, so funny. and my used to be bestfriend, yana was there when th guys were confronting me. i cried know. hahaha. i got attached only when i was sec2, during november. before that, i was named heartbreaker by friends. till now, i still think its hard to find a real guy, what i meant was, my mr right guy. haaa haa. ah shut up, i love khairunizam, yayyay ^_^
its 6:23am right now, im yawning. im hungry and i can't sleep. and tags will be replied soon, loveloves.